My Beloved Mellow is gone

Mellow ran away today. He tore the screen off the window and jumped out. I'm sad and I miss him. I'll try to find him, I'll keep checking the shelters. But even if i don't find him I know he will be fine. he is a strong healthy cat and he likes to be active, he was probably bored being in my little apartment. i only had him for six months but he gave me a lot of happiness. I love him and pray for him.

I really regret leaving the window open, but it gets so stuffy in my apartment since there is no air conditioner.

I hope he comes home...

He came back! He was meowing at the window and i went out to get him! i'm so happy!!!! My baby is back home where he belongs!!!

I Had A Dream

Years ago in High School I had a dream where I confronted my former best friend about her boyfriend because I found out that she was doing his homework and giving him head. I couldn't understand why she would stay with him, he was clearly benefiting while she was suffering and sad. But she wouldn't answer me, she just looked down. I wrote it down in one of my journals and I came across it over a year ago and though, "Wow, it sounds like I am talking about myself now." At the time a large part of what I did with my boyfriend was help him/ do for him his school work and satisfy him physically. It was a dull routine, but I was attached to him and we had so many good memories from the past. i wasn't ready to let him go. I thought about this now having broke up with him 1 week ago, it is as if my old self, the one he condemned and called weird is talking to the (then) present me. The unyeilding, uncomprimizing girl I was before would not have put up with that. I acted like a codependent. I'm free now, and I love my freedom. It's funny how things are the opposite for him, he says "life is so hard without you". Even though before he was always saying how I didn't do enough for him, how he spent time on me that he should of used elsewhere, and he how he drove me around and i didnt have a drivers liscence or a car. if he was really doing me such big favors why is he the one in deepare and i am releavied huh? Because he's full of shit. And the sad thing is, he doen't even know it. I wish I didn't waste three and a half years with him. But I AM STRONGER NOW THAT'S FOR SURE! When mr. right comes along I'll be better apt to spot him!!

note : one thing that really pisses me off about him is that he guilt tripped me about driving me to see my mom in the hospital. He made me feel terrible for asking. a really great boyfriend would have pretended to care a little that my mom was in the hospital and the doctor's didn't know what to do with her. It was a scary time but as always he was concerned with the DRIVING like his cheap little car's milage was more important than me and my mother! SO many times I just walked the 3 miles to the hospital. Why couldn't I see that he wasn't right for me? Why did I think I deserved that treatment? I can't even answer these questions myself. I never want to be like that again.

Only Older Folks Please in Color!

Warning! KIDS DON'T LOOK! Unless your a naughty Kataang Shipper! This Image goes with my Fanfiction, "The Aftermath of Sozin's Commit."
I colored my Kataang pic with prismacolor markers, turned out pretty well! I know it's not perfect and I wish I could do better but I'm poor and my markers are really old, like six years old! It's amazing they still work at all!

Note: This is not meant to be pornographic. I think that the naked human form is art, and that love making is a beautiful dance. This is a representation of one of the many ways lovers bond. Even though this is tasteful, it's still not appropriate for kids of course!

The Legend of Karra

there's is going to be a new show next year, it features the new avatar, the one after Aang. AANG DIED!!!! AAAAHHHHH! Some how I feel sick, it's like he's dead... I never expected any further episodes, and now that they are continuing with a whole new cast I am kinda sad. I LOVE the ATLA gang, and I don't usually feel that way about cartoon characters (let alone anyone). The new cast can't compare...(I'm predicting this) I wonder if they will mention Aang's death? How he died? He was most likely 72 when it happened but still that's young! I want him to live forever in my heart...hopeless fan girl that I am... Well actually I want him to be eternally young and have lots of *** with Katara. I will be super mad if they have Aang marrying anyone but Katara...

Wooh! I feel better now! Thanks to the open ending of ATLA, I can imagine all kinds of adventures and happiness...Maybe the new show will have flash backs! Then I could use it for inspiration for new ATLA Fanfics... I hope the new show is good but since I don't have cable it doesn't really matter...

My imagination is my castle, my dreams are treasure, and they can whether the battery of reality any day! When ever I want I can go on vacation in my mind, walk in the life of another, create a new fate, see a new face, let go of my inhibitions and be free! That is why I write fanfics, because my journeys become more vivid if I write them down. (^_^)

This blog is my new journal! I've been hand writing I journals off and on for years now, but finally the appeal of a blog has gotten to me. See the secret is I never write my real name any where. I use pseudonyms, so I'm safe. I did put up my picture, but only to show that even though I'm geeky on the inside, I don't look it on the outside. Funny how I care about the way nonexistent people view me. But that's how we've been socialized, to CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK more that what we ourselves think. That's why being a geek is so great, I don't need to fit in, be normal, or sell my soul and become a tool. I'm free! Geeks, your with me right? Isn't the freedom we experience great?? Even if it is a bit isolating (unless you befriend a fellow geek that is!).

just so you know

I added my real self photo to my profile, since I relly doubt anyone will ever look at this blog, it's really just for me. A place to keep my stuff. (^_^)

Only Older Folks Please

I don't know how to put one of those "warning adult content" sticker things.... This is a kataang sketch I did. It goes with the fanfic I wrote. They are older in the pic than at the end of the show, OK? I don't want mysterious people I'll never see thinking that I draw underage cartoons doing THAT. I really like how it turned out, I think it's sweet. It's not ment too be pornographic! I think that the naked human for is art, and that love making is a beautiful dance. This is a tastful representation of how lovers bond.

Kataang Fan Fiction by Amby

I have created a fanfiction.net account, KataangLover87. Check it out if you are a fellow Kataang shipper. (^_^) My fic called "Sozin's Commit: Part 5" takes place right after the last episode. It's rather erotic, don't say I didn't warn you, it's rated M after all. For all the prudes who think Aang and Katara are too young to be doing M rated stuff, let me remind you that in the past 13 year olds were considered adults. Formal education finishes at a much younger age in the ATLA world ( 14 year old Azula had already graduated from school), and they get married younger (Yue had just turned 16 and was to be married off soon). And since the whole series encompassed a year or so in Avatar time, they are probably 13 and 15 by the end of the series, so I think they are old enough. Though it is possible that they might wait a year or so to consummate their relationship/ get married (Katara would be 16, of marrying age, and all the prudes should agree on that!). So I might write another fic where they do wait. Any way, I just wanted to say that it isn't wrong for them to do that. Two cute kids in love, what could be sweeter? (;P)

ATLA Cosplay Ideas and Artwork

Isn't Katara lovely? I am thinking of cosplaying her at Comic Con next year. ( I couldn't go to the one this year, it was sold out by the time I was interested.) I think I will cosplay her in her season 1 outfit, the green gown ( she wears it in season two to go the the Earth king's Bear's Party, and then again at the end of the final episode), and also Yue's Moon spirit get up looks like a fun challenge. As a tan skinned, dark haired girl, it's hard to find anime/ cartoon characters that I can cosplay well. I'm so happy ATLA includes tan skinned people!!!

Here are some drawings of the outfits I wanna try to create:
I drew them of course!

More ATLA Fanart by ME! (^_^)

Avatar the Last Airbender Fan Art

All of these pictures were hand drawn by me, then tediously scanned by yours truly. If you steal these I will sick my flying monkeys on you, got it?

Elegant Gothic Lolita

Here are some pics of my Favorite loli clothes! I can't buy them (or wear them) but still like them! Very Cute!

Sigh

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. While it was a long time coming and the right desicion, I feel pretty blue. The things that inspired me yesterday can't move my spirits today. That's why I started this blog. I need to do something. I don't have any friends at the moment since I just changed schools,so this is my way of communicating to the world. This blog is about my hobbies and obessions but its also about me. I don't know what to do with myself right now. I should study, but I'm not in the mood. I've been organizing my apartment and that's helped me to feel a little better but I'm still down. I'VE GOT TO CHEER UP!

Hello World!

This is Amby here, a lonely obsessive girl who dreams of romance and the impossible. My current love, the cartoon "Avatar The Last Airbender." the first time I heard about it years ago, I dismissed it a a children's show, but really it is for all ages! The characters are lovable and funny, the action sequences are incredible, what with them bending the elements to their will. And my favorite part is the sweet relationship between Aang and Katara. They go from good friends to lovers throughout the series. I have watch the whole series twice now, and I wish there were more episodes....Sigh...