meeting Eoin

Imet eoin at the japanese language table on Nov 12th. He was really friendly and easy to talk to. I fould out he was a grada student and that he taught english in japan for 3 yrs. his janaese was good, but half way we just started speaking english. then he had to leave to go to a party and invited me. I instictively said no, then told him i was gonna go the the NSU movie night and see "inception" with my friend (nikki) which was true. I didn't want him to feel like I was blowing him off. then he asked for my number. later during the movie all i could think about was him, and then he texted me that he wanted to hang out so I replied that we should have lunch the following week.

lunch was short but fun, and now i was interested in him is a non-friendly way. he was so interesting and his blue eyes sparkled in the sun light. sigh~! we talked about his time in japan, the jods he had (teaching kindergardeners english!) and the roomates. an ocd girl, and a british guy that he liked but who talked on and on in detail about his divorse. he lived in kobe most of the time and loved kobe. he liked frequenting the bars and made friends there. he had 2 girlfriends in japan, bot relationships only a few months long. he left me wanted to know more!

At the next lang table we sat next to eachother and spoke mostly japenglish. it was a lot of fun and I realized that I liked him then. he told me about the music he likes and about our plan for going to beach (weather permitting) the next day.

The nest day it was raining, so no beach. I arrived and he had some nice music playing, he didn't say it wasa date and I was wonder how i should interpret the situation. then we played cards with his house mate and his house mates friend and I wasnt too bad! it was fun! then we went down to the gaslamp quarter and walked around and talked. and ate gelato! After that we went back to his dorm and watched "the book of Kells" an irish cartoon film that was really becutifully drawn. he held my hand and we cuddled a little. When it was over he said he wated to kiss me, but i said no, Iwas too insecure, i didnt have the confidence. then i played with his beautiful, silky hair and gained confidence, and we kissed, he's a good kisser! better than Tak, 4sho. and then we made out, but we stoped short of doing it. he said we should wait b/c he really liked me. we slept together, bmade out in the morning, and then he needed to study and I went home. I was twitterpated for sure! Ifelt so good! He said Iwas gorgeous, he loves my body, especially my breasts and my butt (^-^)! big confidence boost!

Meeting his parents was really fun! They are a sweet couple and they really liked me! at dinner the teased Eoin the parents do, commenting on how he ironed his shirt himself and how when he graduated they sung "go eoin! go eoin!" he seemed pretty embarrased and that was cute! THey also talked about their cats, and his siblings, and their work. they are both doctors, but his mother is now a lawyor. we enjoyed the food and at the end they both gave me a hug!

we went to his dorm after that and talked and made out . we talked about high school, how he was bullied and how he was a outsider too, but the found a group of friends that he really liked. he eventually got to were he didnt care what people thought anymore, and he pranked people ans stuff to piss em off. he also mentioned his experimenting with drugs in college, but he doesnt do that anymore. we went to sleep and slept in. then we made out, he talked about personality types and how he was inverted and had trouble expresing his feelings. i said i was introverted too and that i dont judge people. then we made out again and i put on my clothes.

we will meet on friday to see Harry Potter 7! I cant wait! Now I need to write my essay....

I really like Eoin and hope he falls for me....

おひさしぶり！

so much has happened since the last post!!!


I have a boyfriend! And he is awsome!!

here are some things I like about him:
He's tall and goodlooking V(^-^)V
he's a little nerdy
he likes dancing and clubing , things I'd like to try
he taught english in Japan for 3 yrs
he's a grad student working on his PhD in physics so he can become a physics prof and b/c he really likes math
he likes anime, manga, reading, nature documentaries, videogames
we have a similar sense of humor, for instance he likes tim and eric! and aqua teen hunger force and quirky/ ironic humor
he's not cercumsized (^0^)
his parents ar both proffessional people and still married
he is introverted, intuitive, friendly person
he had a hard time of high school which I can relate to
he never asked my race, I eventually told him yesterday
doesn't smoke
he's full irish from irland!
he has a similar taste in music
he respects my boundaries and wants to wait b4 we have sex.


Downsides: he admitted he experimented with psychadelic drugs (mushrooms and also pills) in college. but didn't do that in Japan and doesn't now. That made me a little nervous, i'm not sure why he told me, but he did say that he found out that they can make u crazy so thats why he doesnt do it anymore. im glad he was honest, I want him to be upfront about things like that.


Ah! I miss him already.... I want to know him more! I want him to fall for me, I want to make love to him .... sigh.... its hard to concentrate.

Ohisashiburi desu ne!

I haven't blogged in a while... I was feeling sad today, heart sick really. (I think I am in love with Hyde, AGAIN) In some ways the way my heart aches is a beautiful feeling, but also I just wish it would go away.... I was listening to X-Japan's Dahlia and the sad music and these feelings made me cry for the first time in a while... Sometimes I feel really lonely, sometimes I feel really happy on my own. Blogging cheers me up!!


There is a certain someone, Shuwa-chan, who I have a semi-crush on. I only talked to hime once last week, but he was in my japanese class last year, and he always caught my eye, i stared at him every class because of his brillint green eyes, from the distance I was at I couldn't tell if they were green or hazel. when I finally saw them up close they are a bright gold around the pupil and a golden-green around the edges. really pretty!! i want to draw them!!! But I don't know if I will run into him again. ..... He was really nice, we talked for 15 mins, he likes Gackt, AKG, and Rurouni Kenshin!! He wants to study abroud in Japan, and his major is Japanese, he has a girlfriend..... (*^*) I must have looked to happy or soething since he thought he needed to metion that....(;_;) he's cute but he's short and 2nd year (probably 19)...But I dont care! I guess I have a semi- stupid-crush on him since he's the cutest, nicest guy I've met so far.... Damn this lonely heart! i want to meet him again! I want to have a Hyde (me) vs Gackt (him) Karaoke show down!! (also his voice is lovely, a big reason to like him, and his Japanese is hontoni kirei!!! Uta o utaukoto ga jousu da to omou) AHHH!!!! SHIKUSHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Well anyway, how are you non existant readers?


Oh, and Dorm life rocks! Roomie and suite mates are real nice and we are all friends!!! (pretty much) But the food is expensive and not so good... oh welll....

AH!!! i want make bentos and go for a walk at the beach with Shuwa-chan!!! Or woulda movie be better? Hmmmmm.... We could watch anime together!!! and study? OH! Go to NSU and JSA meetings together!! At the language tables we could sit together and......... (; . ;) I'm pathetic!!!

I even have imaginary conversations with him in my head... guaranteed to make me nervous when we meet again... Ifthat ever happens.... He told me he lives on campus but Idon't know where!!! Wasurechata! Shikusha.....

Atashi wa baka ja ne ka.....

Comic Idea: Social Experiment: Rin

Hey I had an Idea for a comic the other day!

It is about a girl named Rin (this name has personal significance for me since in high school I almost changed my name to this even though it is a boy's name- it was the name of the cute chinese boy in Shamen Kings (his full name was Rin Tao)) and her high school life. Why high school, because even though I hated it and would never do it over, there are so many things I missed out on going to school in the south, in a way Rin can reclame these things for me.

Her freshmen year of high school comes and goes with her spending all her time studying and not making a single friend. In fact she was hardly noticed at all. She's painfully shy at school and doesn't know how to change. She gets a part time job and finds it easy to talk to people under the pretext of a business transaction. Then she sees a guy who looked like a cute girl come into her office where she worked. She realized that the difference between men and women isn't as significant as she thought, at least pertyaining to him. An idea comes to her, why not try a social experiment her sophmore year? why not try being a boy? And then she starts her "training" to prepare for the upcoming school year.

Though her year as a boy she is able to branch out and do things she once thought impossible. she finds herself, and the real Rin is less of a timid kitten and more of wild panther! She talks back, stucks up for herself and others, gets into fights, loses and wins, breaks some hearts and destroys some egos!!!

The setting is a So-Cal high school near a beach.

Rin is 5'4'', tan with freckles, green eyes, curly brown hair, she's B cup, which she hides with a tight sports bra. (this would work, i put on a sports bra and it made me look sooooo flat , and I'm a C cup.) luckily for this experiment her hips havent filled out yet, so she can fit boys pants. (this was true for me in H.S. too, I had a pair of Boys shorts (like childrens size) that I would wear to school).


This would probably have to be in a "lite" novel format, with pictures to go with it. I don't think Ihave the skills right now to draw it, but I can get started this way!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!! I finally had a n idea, if not totally original, at least perosnally significant. (^_^)

More Kataang

I am a little ashamed of myself. I drew a 16 page Kataang Fan Comic! Ah! I should have been doing so many other things....I will post it here and in Bad Amby.

This was my inspiration: since I wrote a fic that was romantic and sweet (kinda the ideal way to do it), this one would be cute, funny, and naughty. It plays out more like how I personally lost my v- you know. I think Aang may seem a little more aggressive then he seemed in the show, but boys do get more forward after you have already accepted them! And this is a fanfic, it's not canon, because it happens around episode 11 in season 3 (I like fire nation Katara and Aang with hair and school boy outfit (^_^). Yeah and it is totally Wrong. So don't comment "This is so wrong" or "they are too young" Prudes are not welcome here! J/K !! (;p) (Actually I myself am a prude, I just love Kataang so much that my prudishness was overrided)

I was thinking that I would put up the link for it on my fanfic since people actually read my fanfic! That way some people can see it and be made happy (hopefully).

See this is how I will organize my 3 blogs, One that is nice -Amby's ecentricities, one that is naughty- Bad Amby, and one that has it all, this one! (^_^)

My Beloved Mellow is gone

Mellow ran away today. He tore the screen off the window and jumped out. I'm sad and I miss him. I'll try to find him, I'll keep checking the shelters. But even if i don't find him I know he will be fine. he is a strong healthy cat and he likes to be active, he was probably bored being in my little apartment. i only had him for six months but he gave me a lot of happiness. I love him and pray for him.

I really regret leaving the window open, but it gets so stuffy in my apartment since there is no air conditioner.

I hope he comes home...

He came back! He was meowing at the window and i went out to get him! i'm so happy!!!! My baby is back home where he belongs!!!

I Had A Dream

Years ago in High School I had a dream where I confronted my former best friend about her boyfriend because I found out that she was doing his homework and giving him head. I couldn't understand why she would stay with him, he was clearly benefiting while she was suffering and sad. But she wouldn't answer me, she just looked down. I wrote it down in one of my journals and I came across it over a year ago and though, "Wow, it sounds like I am talking about myself now." At the time a large part of what I did with my boyfriend was help him/ do for him his school work and satisfy him physically. It was a dull routine, but I was attached to him and we had so many good memories from the past. i wasn't ready to let him go. I thought about this now having broke up with him 1 week ago, it is as if my old self, the one he condemned and called weird is talking to the (then) present me. The unyeilding, uncomprimizing girl I was before would not have put up with that. I acted like a codependent. I'm free now, and I love my freedom. It's funny how things are the opposite for him, he says "life is so hard without you". Even though before he was always saying how I didn't do enough for him, how he spent time on me that he should of used elsewhere, and he how he drove me around and i didnt have a drivers liscence or a car. if he was really doing me such big favors why is he the one in deepare and i am releavied huh? Because he's full of shit. And the sad thing is, he doen't even know it. I wish I didn't waste three and a half years with him. But I AM STRONGER NOW THAT'S FOR SURE! When mr. right comes along I'll be better apt to spot him!!

note : one thing that really pisses me off about him is that he guilt tripped me about driving me to see my mom in the hospital. He made me feel terrible for asking. a really great boyfriend would have pretended to care a little that my mom was in the hospital and the doctor's didn't know what to do with her. It was a scary time but as always he was concerned with the DRIVING like his cheap little car's milage was more important than me and my mother! SO many times I just walked the 3 miles to the hospital. Why couldn't I see that he wasn't right for me? Why did I think I deserved that treatment? I can't even answer these questions myself. I never want to be like that again.

Only Older Folks Please in Color!

Warning! KIDS DON'T LOOK! Unless your a naughty Kataang Shipper! This Image goes with my Fanfiction, "The Aftermath of Sozin's Commit."
I colored my Kataang pic with prismacolor markers, turned out pretty well! I know it's not perfect and I wish I could do better but I'm poor and my markers are really old, like six years old! It's amazing they still work at all!

Note: This is not meant to be pornographic. I think that the naked human form is art, and that love making is a beautiful dance. This is a representation of one of the many ways lovers bond. Even though this is tasteful, it's still not appropriate for kids of course!

The Legend of Karra

there's is going to be a new show next year, it features the new avatar, the one after Aang. AANG DIED!!!! AAAAHHHHH! Some how I feel sick, it's like he's dead... I never expected any further episodes, and now that they are continuing with a whole new cast I am kinda sad. I LOVE the ATLA gang, and I don't usually feel that way about cartoon characters (let alone anyone). The new cast can't compare...(I'm predicting this) I wonder if they will mention Aang's death? How he died? He was most likely 72 when it happened but still that's young! I want him to live forever in my heart...hopeless fan girl that I am... Well actually I want him to be eternally young and have lots of *** with Katara. I will be super mad if they have Aang marrying anyone but Katara...

Wooh! I feel better now! Thanks to the open ending of ATLA, I can imagine all kinds of adventures and happiness...Maybe the new show will have flash backs! Then I could use it for inspiration for new ATLA Fanfics... I hope the new show is good but since I don't have cable it doesn't really matter...

My imagination is my castle, my dreams are treasure, and they can whether the battery of reality any day! When ever I want I can go on vacation in my mind, walk in the life of another, create a new fate, see a new face, let go of my inhibitions and be free! That is why I write fanfics, because my journeys become more vivid if I write them down. (^_^)

This blog is my new journal! I've been hand writing I journals off and on for years now, but finally the appeal of a blog has gotten to me. See the secret is I never write my real name any where. I use pseudonyms, so I'm safe. I did put up my picture, but only to show that even though I'm geeky on the inside, I don't look it on the outside. Funny how I care about the way nonexistent people view me. But that's how we've been socialized, to CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK more that what we ourselves think. That's why being a geek is so great, I don't need to fit in, be normal, or sell my soul and become a tool. I'm free! Geeks, your with me right? Isn't the freedom we experience great?? Even if it is a bit isolating (unless you befriend a fellow geek that is!).

just so you know

I added my real self photo to my profile, since I relly doubt anyone will ever look at this blog, it's really just for me. A place to keep my stuff. (^_^)

Only Older Folks Please

I don't know how to put one of those "warning adult content" sticker things.... This is a kataang sketch I did. It goes with the fanfic I wrote. They are older in the pic than at the end of the show, OK? I don't want mysterious people I'll never see thinking that I draw underage cartoons doing THAT. I really like how it turned out, I think it's sweet. It's not ment too be pornographic! I think that the naked human for is art, and that love making is a beautiful dance. This is a tastful representation of how lovers bond.

Kataang Fan Fiction by Amby

I have created a fanfiction.net account, KataangLover87. Check it out if you are a fellow Kataang shipper. (^_^) My fic called "Sozin's Commit: Part 5" takes place right after the last episode. It's rather erotic, don't say I didn't warn you, it's rated M after all. For all the prudes who think Aang and Katara are too young to be doing M rated stuff, let me remind you that in the past 13 year olds were considered adults. Formal education finishes at a much younger age in the ATLA world ( 14 year old Azula had already graduated from school), and they get married younger (Yue had just turned 16 and was to be married off soon). And since the whole series encompassed a year or so in Avatar time, they are probably 13 and 15 by the end of the series, so I think they are old enough. Though it is possible that they might wait a year or so to consummate their relationship/ get married (Katara would be 16, of marrying age, and all the prudes should agree on that!). So I might write another fic where they do wait. Any way, I just wanted to say that it isn't wrong for them to do that. Two cute kids in love, what could be sweeter? (;P)

ATLA Cosplay Ideas and Artwork

Isn't Katara lovely? I am thinking of cosplaying her at Comic Con next year. ( I couldn't go to the one this year, it was sold out by the time I was interested.) I think I will cosplay her in her season 1 outfit, the green gown ( she wears it in season two to go the the Earth king's Bear's Party, and then again at the end of the final episode), and also Yue's Moon spirit get up looks like a fun challenge. As a tan skinned, dark haired girl, it's hard to find anime/ cartoon characters that I can cosplay well. I'm so happy ATLA includes tan skinned people!!!

Here are some drawings of the outfits I wanna try to create:
I drew them of course!

More ATLA Fanart by ME! (^_^)

Avatar the Last Airbender Fan Art

All of these pictures were hand drawn by me, then tediously scanned by yours truly. If you steal these I will sick my flying monkeys on you, got it?

Elegant Gothic Lolita

Here are some pics of my Favorite loli clothes! I can't buy them (or wear them) but still like them! Very Cute!

Sigh

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. While it was a long time coming and the right desicion, I feel pretty blue. The things that inspired me yesterday can't move my spirits today. That's why I started this blog. I need to do something. I don't have any friends at the moment since I just changed schools,so this is my way of communicating to the world. This blog is about my hobbies and obessions but its also about me. I don't know what to do with myself right now. I should study, but I'm not in the mood. I've been organizing my apartment and that's helped me to feel a little better but I'm still down. I'VE GOT TO CHEER UP!

Hello World!

This is Amby here, a lonely obsessive girl who dreams of romance and the impossible. My current love, the cartoon "Avatar The Last Airbender." the first time I heard about it years ago, I dismissed it a a children's show, but really it is for all ages! The characters are lovable and funny, the action sequences are incredible, what with them bending the elements to their will. And my favorite part is the sweet relationship between Aang and Katara. They go from good friends to lovers throughout the series. I have watch the whole series twice now, and I wish there were more episodes....Sigh...